Just finished reading The Lover by Marguerite Duras, I feel so tired.
It is like emotionally exhausted. The story line seems like she just writes things when she thinks about it.
First of all, I really like how she sees
her ravaged face as the only image of herself she likes, also as the only one
in which she recognizes herself. It just makes me feel that after experiencing
so many things, and the look became more real you, means something deeper.
Also, the hat that she wore when she was young is a man’s flat-brimmed hat, a
brownish-pink fedora with a broad black ribbon. But also she wore dress and
high heels. This is so cool for me. She mentioned that this is a provoking choice
a nature and a choice of the mind. I like how she is being proud of herself in
the past, being cool, unique, and “rebellious”.
Moreover, I really like her honesty! As a
young girl, being with a rich and elegant Chinese man who is way older than
her, she honestly told the man that “that I show she desire him, with his
money, that when she first saw him he was already in his car, in his money, so
she couldn’t say what she’d have done if he’d been different”. For me, this is
way too honest. Normally, they might just hide that desire or at least not
telling ALL. This is cool but also kinda cold to him.
I started to wonder if she is telling the
truth, if this honesty is real.
The first time for her, being in a room
with a man alone. Her reaction was like “does not feel anything in particular,
no hate, no repugnance either”. How come? Also, she was the one who is slow,
patient, undressing him. But who is the one that is younger and more innocent
here? Until she told him that “I’d rather you didn’t love me. But if you do, I’d
like you to do as you usually do with women.” I suddenly realized something is
off. She refused his love, but accepted his body, and sex that he offered but
should be in a way that is not special for her, not unique but to every one else.
I do not think she was just being cold and careless. It is more like she was
trying to protect herself and trying to be cold and careless. Because if she
was that careless to him, then how come she wrote this whole book?
My question: What happened between them is
a love story or just something happened, as a part of her memory, something complicated
to tell the feelings?
I like how you mention that she is so honest, you wondered if the honesty was real. I hadn't even really thought about that, I think we generally want to trust our narrators, but it's an interesting thought especially considering how disjointed the story is.
ReplyDeleteI like how you mention that she is so honest, you wondered if the honesty was real. I hadn't even really thought about that, I think we generally want to trust our narrators, but it's an interesting thought especially considering how disjointed the story is. - Sofia Rocha Zandbergen
ReplyDelete"The story line seems like she just writes things when she thinks about it." I think this connects very well with your question about narrative honesty and authenticity in writing. A uniquely difficult problem! Is writing a form of processing? And, if so, is it necessary to be completely honest in what is narrated for there to be authenticity in that exercise?
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